I'm Outta Here

Gettin’ outta town. Okay. I admit it. I have to get out of here, if only for a week. The news is never good. Our mayor is about as effective at governing our city as my next door neighbor is at keeping her mongrel dog from crapping on the sidewalk in front of my house. ALWAYS a steaming, fly infested heap between my front door and my car door. I’m about to staple the little beast’s ass shut! The dog’s ass...not the mayor’s. Anyway, it must be time for an attitude adjustment. A list of things to be grateful for (in no particular order):

1. My house (damaged, but fixable).

2. My job. I have a job that doesn’t involve phone solicitation, digging ditches or slinging tacos (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

3. My hair gets colored for free by my friend, Lexie. (Otherwise I would be a brunette and I’m kinda digging the whole blonde thing).

4. My boyfriend. He’s always improving and by now has reached the maturity level of a 12 year old — on a good day ----which perfectly matches MY maturity level of a 10 year old — also on a good day.

5. My kids. None of them are in jail or exhibit any abnormally bad habits (that I know of).

6. My granddaughter. Of course I’m too young to have a granddaughter, but she’s worth it as long as she calls me “Maymo” (and NOT maw maw or mee mawa or anything else...it’s MAYMO!).

7. Autumn in New Orleans. Okay. So it’s still the middle of Summer AND hurricane season. Looking forward to Fall here is what keeps me sane through the summer.

8. My bug guy, Ivan. Now there’s a man who holds my peace of mind in his hands. Ivan makes sure that if I do see a giant flying cockroach, it’s a dead one.

9. My zero credit card balance. Because of Hurricane Katrina, my credit card debt is paid off. Of course, I no longer own a cute little beach cottage in Mississippi, but at least it was insured AND there are still three very nice concrete steps to eventually build a house around.

10. My younger sister. I have a sister in San Francisco to go visit when I need to pretend that I live anything even close to a normal life.